Kungani abasubathi beyeka ngaphambi kokuba baqale: okhiye bengqondo

Ezweni lezemidlalo, ukuncintisana kanye nokuthuthukiswa komuntu siqu, Kukhona into ehlaba umxhwele njengoba idikibalisa.: isikhathi lapho umdlali eyeka ngaphambi kokuthi aqale. Akukhona ukunqotshwa ngokomzimba noma kobuchwepheshe, kodwa ukuthunjwa ngokwengqondo okwenza ize noma yimaphi amathuba okuphumelela. Lesi senzo, ngokusobala kungenangqondo, ifihla izingqimba ezijulile zengqondo, ukucindezela komphakathi kanye nokuzibekela imingcele okufanele kuhlolwe. Yini eholela umsubathi ukuthi ayeke ngaphandle kokuzama?? Ingabe ubugwala, ukwesaba ukwehluleka noma isu lokungazi lutho lokugwema ubuhlungu bokunqotshwa? Kuso sonke lesi sihloko, Sizodalula izimpande zalokhu kuziphatha, ehlaziya amacala angempela, izifundo zengqondo kanye nemiphumela enayo ekusebenzeni komuntu ngamunye nokuqoqiwe. Ngoba ukuqonda ukuthi kungani umuntu eyeka ngaphambi kokuba aqale akusisizi nje kuphela ukuthi sikuvimbele., kodwa futhi ukuthola kabusha ukubaluleka kokuqina emhlabeni lapho ubuhle bubonakala kuwukuphela kwenketho.

Isisindo esingabonakali sokulindelwe

Esinye sezici ezinquma kakhulu ekuzinikeleni ngaphambi kwesikhathi ingcindezi yalokho okulindele., eyakhe noma eyomunye umuntu. Kwezemidlalo elite, abasubathi bavame ukuthwala umthwalo wokumela amazwe abo, amakilabhu noma imindeni yabo. Ucwaningo olushicilelwe kujenali Imingcele kuPsychology (2019) uveze ukuthi 68% yabasubathi abangochwepheshe baba nokukhathazeka kwangaphambi kokuncintisana, kanye a 23% uyavuma ukuthi ucabanga ukuyeka ngaphambi komcimbi omkhulu ngenxa yokwesaba ukwehliswa. Lesi simo asigcini kwezemidlalo kuphela; endaweni yezemfundo noma yomsebenzi, ukuzifuna ngokweqile kungadala ukukhubazeka okufanayo.

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kwezemidlalo uCarol Dweck, emcabangweni wakhe we “imiqondo eqinile vs.. imiqondo yokukhula”, ichaza ukuthi labo abakholelwa ukuthi amakhono abo azalwa (umqondo ogxilile) Bavame ukugwema izinselele ngoba besaba ukuthi ukwehluleka kuzoveza ukulinganiselwa kwabo.. Kunalokho, Labo abamukela ingqondo yokukhula babona izinselele njengamathuba okufunda. Lapho umdlali eyeka ngaphambi kokuqala, ngokuvamile wanamathela esigabeni sokuqala, lapho ukwesaba ukungabi khona “kuhle ngokwanele” inqoba noma yikuphi ugqozi.

Isibonelo sepharadigmatic yileso somdlali wethenisi UMarat Safin, okwathi encwadini yempilo yakhe wavuma ukuthi izikhathi eziningi wayeshiya imidlalo ngokomqondo ngaphambi kokungena enkundleni, ikakhulukazi uma sibhekene nezimbangi ezisezikhundleni eziphezulu. U-Safin uchaze umuzwa we “ukunqotshwa kwangaphakathi” lokho kwamshiya engenawo amandla okuqhudelana. Lezi zinhlobo zamacala zikhombisa ukuthi impi enzima kakhulu ayiliwa njalo enkundleni, kodwa emqondweni.

I-Impostor syndrome kanye nokungazethembi

Okuhlobene nokulindelwe, I-Impostor syndrome ingesinye isici esibalulekile ekuzinikeleni ngaphambi kwesikhathi. Lesi simo, kuqala kukhonjwe ku 1978 ngochwepheshe bezengqondo uPauline Clance noSuzanne Imes, ichaza umuzwa wokungafaneleki izimpumelelo ezitholiwe kanye nokwesaba ukuba khona “kungamboziwe” njengokukhwabanisa. kwezemidlalo, Lokhu kuzibonakalisa uma umsubathi engabaza ithalente lakhe, ngisho nangemva kweminyaka yokuqeqeshwa nempumelelo.

Icala elibhaliwe elomuntu ovocavoca umzimba Simone Biles, ngubani kuma-Olympics e-Tokyo 2020 uhoxile ekuhlolweni okuningi ngenxa yezinkinga zempilo yengqondo. Yize isinqumo sakhe sishayelwe ihlombe ngokubeka phambili inhlalakahle yakhe, Kwabonisa futhi umzabalazo wangaphakathi wokulwa nokungazethembi. UBiles wathi ezingxoxweni zakamuva wazizwa kanjalo “Bekungekuhle ngokwanele.” naphezu kokuba ngomunye wabasubathi abahlotshiswe kakhulu emlandweni. Lezi zinhlobo zemicabango azivamile.: isifundo esivela eNyuvesi yaseSalzburg (2021) uthole ukuthi 70% Abasubathi abadlala kahle bahlangabezana ne-imposter syndrome ngesikhathi esithile emisebenzini yabo.

Ukungazethembi akuthinti ukusebenza kuphela, kodwa futhi kuhlanekezela umbono weqiniso. Umdlali oyekayo ngaphambi kokuqala ngokuvamile ukhulisa ubunzima futhi anciphise amakhono akhe.. Lokhu kudala umjikelezo ononya.: kulapho uzithanda kakhulu, kancane ulungiselela inselele, futhi kancane ulungiselela, yilapho eqiniseka nakakhulu ukuthi uzohluleka. Ukwephula lo mjikelezo kudinga umsebenzi ojulile wokuzibheka wena., into abasubathi abaningi abayitholayo ngosizo lwezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zezemidlalo.

Isicupho sokuqhathanisa komphakathi

Esikhathini sezokuxhumana, Ukuqhathanisa nabanye sekuyimbangela yokuzinikela ngaphambi kwesikhathi. Amapulatifomu afana ne-Instagram noma i-TikTok akhombisa izinguqulo ezincomekayo zezimpumelelo zabanye abantu, ukweqa ukwehluleka, amahora okuqeqeshwa kanye nokungabaza. Ucwaningo olwenziwe eNyuvesi yaseMichigan (2020) uveze ukuthi 42% abasubathi abasha bayavuma umuzwa “abanekhono elincane” ngemuva kokubona okuthunyelwe kontanga ezinkundleni zokuxhumana.

Ukuqhathanisa komphakathi akuyona into entsha, kodwa umthelela wayo ukhuliswe nge-hyperconnection. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo Leon Festinger Sengivele ngenza ithiyori eminyakeni 50 ukuthi abantu bathambekele ekuhloleni amakhono ethu ngokuziqhathanisa nabanye, ikakhulukazi ezindaweni ezincintisanayo. Nokho, lapho lokhu kuqhathanisa kusekelwe ezindinganisweni ezingenangqondo, kungadala umuzwa wokuzizwa uphansi ngokungenakunqotshwa. Ngokwesibonelo, umdlali webhola osemncane obuka amaphuzu avelele we Lionel Messi ku-YouTube ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi awusoze wafinyelela kulelo zinga, nangaphambi kokuzama ukukulingisa.

Lo mphumela ugqama nakakhulu emidlalweni ngayinye, lapho impumelelo noma ukwehluleka kuncike ngokuphelele kumuntu oyedwa. Umdlali wethenisi onjengaye Naomi Osaka ukhulume ngokukhululeka ngendlela izinkundla zokuxhumana ezithinte ngayo ukuzethemba kwakhe, okumholela ekutheni abuze indawo yakhe kusekethe. Isixazululo, ngokusho kongoti, akukugwemi ukuqhathanisa, kodwa funda ukuyibeka esimweni. Ukubona ukuthi i-trajectory ngayinye ihlukile nokuthi inqubekelaphambili ayikona umugqa kungasiza ekwehliseni umthelela omubi wale nto..

Izindleko zokuyeka: imiphumela yesikhathi eside

Ukuyeka ngaphambi kokuqala akuphazamisi umphumela osheshayo kuphela, kodwa ishiya imiphumela engokwengqondo nengokomzwelo engahlala iminyaka.. Ucwaningo lwesikhathi eside oluvela eStanford University (2018) kulandele 500 abasubathi iminyaka eyishumi futhi bathola ukuthi labo abayeka imincintiswano ngenxa yokwesaba ukwehluleka babe a 30% maningi amathuba okuba nezinkinga zokukhathazeka esikhathini esizayo. Ngaphandle kwalokho, yena 45% babo bawushiya unomphela lo mdlalo ngaphambi kwe 30 iminyaka, uma kuqhathaniswa ne 15% yalabo ababhekane nezinselele.

Imiphumela ayikona nje umuntu ngamunye. Ezemidlalo zamaqembu, ukuzinikela ngaphambi kwesikhathi komdlali kungasakazekela kulo lonke iqembu, ukudala umphumela we-domino. Umqeqeshi kanye nesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kwezemidlalo Pep Mari kuchaza lokho “lapho umholi eyeka, ithumela umlayezo wokwehlulwa eqenjini, ngisho noma izimo eziqondile zingakuthetheleli lokho”. Lokhu kubhekwe ebholeni ngodaba luka FC Barcelona ngesizini 2021-2022, lapho uchungechunge lokuhlulwa ngokwengqondo lwandulele imiphumela eyinhlekelele enkundleni.

Nokho, kukhona nezindaba zokuhlengwa. Abasubathi bayathanda UMichael Jordan, owasikwa eqenjini lakhe le-basketball lesikole samabanga aphezulu, o J.K. I-Rowling, inqatshwe abashicileli abaningi ngaphambi kokushicilela u-Harry Potter, Babonisa ukuthi ukuzinikela akudingekile ukuba kube okokugcina. Izindleko zangempela zokuyeka ngaphambi kokuba uqale akukhona ukwehluleka ngokwakho., kodwa ithuba elilahlekile lokuthola ukuthi umuntu angahamba ibanga elingakanani. Njengoba isazi sefilosofi sasho Seneca: “Akunjalo ngoba izinto zinzima ukuthi singalinge; Kungenxa yokuthi asilokothi ukuthi zinzima”.

Usuku umdlali ayekele ngalo ngaphambi kokuqala wusuku, Empeleni, usuku avumela ngalo ukwesaba ukuba kulawule ikusasa lakhe. Kuso sonke lesi sihloko, sihlole izendlalelo eziningi ezizungeze lesi sigameko: kusukela ekucindezelweni kokulindelwe kuya ku-imposter syndrome, ukudlula ogibeni lokuqhathaniswa komphakathi kanye nemiphumela yesikhathi eside. Okusobala ukuthi ukuzinikela ngaphambi kwesikhathi akusona isenzo sobugwala, kodwa umphumela wempi yangaphakathi lapho ingqondo idlala ngokumelene namandla.

Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi, njenganoma yiliphi ikhono, ukuqina kungaqeqeshwa. Amasu afana nokubona ngeso okuhle, Ukubeka imigomo engokoqobo kanye nokusebenza nochwepheshe bezengqondo yezemidlalo kufakazele ukuthi kusebenza ngempumelelo ekunqobeni la mabhulokhi.. Ngaphandle kwalokho, Amacala afana nalawo kaSimone Biles noma uNaomi Osaka asize ukwenza ingxoxo ibe yejwayelekile mayelana nempilo yengqondo kwezemidlalo., esikhumbuza ukuthi nabakhulu bayakungabaza.

Ngokuzayo ulingeka ukuthi uyeke ngaphambi kokuthi uqale, khumbula ukuthi ukwehluleka kweqiniso akuwi, kodwa angavuki. Njengoba esho ULombardi uyawina, umqeqeshi we-NFL odumile: “Akukona uma bewisa wena, uma uvuka”. Mhla umdlali enquma ukungadikibali, nangaphambi kokuthi umdlalo uqale, Usuku onqoba ngalo impi ebaluleke kakhulu: lowo olwa yedwa.